a pause between courses

some gratitude I've been simmering on for the last few weeks

Before we return to our regularly scheduled programming of spring bites, chilled summer pastas, cookbook crushes, and farmers market finds, I wanted to take a moment. A pause. A breath between bites.

At the start of the year, I changed up the way I approach creating content. I stopped angling toward what I thought people wanted to see and leaned into the idea of just filming recipe videos for my besties, because in many ways, I am! Many of you quickly noticed and told me it felt more like me. Like you were there perched on a stool across my island, watching me whisk vinaigrettes and sneaking bites from the cutting board. I think it’s time I started writing for the besties here too.

And what do besties do? We yap. We yap for hours—over cheese plates, dips, a pour (or two) of wine. We tell stories, swap secrets, gasp at the latest gossip, and laugh until our stomachs hurt. But we also make space for the meaty moments. We put our phones away and check in. We say the hard things out loud.

So this is my pause between courses. A little heart-to-heart. A thank you.

I’ve spent years (and years) waffling on the idea of really going for it with a career in food media, terrified of both failure and success. The wall between where I am and where I want to be has felt impossibly tall most days, and my inner voice hasn’t always been kind.

Part of that is tied to something I rarely share: two years ago, I was diagnosed with PMDD, a severe hormone-based disorder that pulls the floor out from under me every month like clockwork. It means that every luteal phase, 14 days of every month, my hormones dive to an extreme low, I’m sent into a deep depression, my anxiety flares, and I’m left wondering what’s the point of trying at all. It’s exhausting to spend half my month in that state, hard to explain the extent of it, and even harder to ask for patience. But it’s something I’m learning to work with and building cycle-syncing routines around it so I can feel like myself again, on the reg.

Part of that work is letting people in.

Lately, life has spoon-fed me a lot of opportunities spend more time with my people. This time with you has allowed for countless reminders that I’m not alone in this process and that so many of you are actually following along and rooting for me. That you are here. Watching, reading, cooking, and cheering me on in this quiet corner of the internet. Even when I was convinced no one was listening.

So, thank you. For reading, for cooking along, for telling your people about what I’m building. For holding this dream with me while I figure out how to carry it. For reminding me that I’m not yelling into the void. For letting my favorite thing matter to more of you than I realized.

I’ll be back next week with something delicious to cook. But today, I just wanted to say: I see you seeing me. And I’m so beyond grateful.

See you next week—stay well fed.

xx, Cate